Dance Floor
by moon12345
Summary: Love can be depressing somethimes, but you've got to learn to let things go. One Side Remus\Sirius, Remus' point of view


AN:

I had my prom tonight... and well, that's just how it'd been to me... not that same conversatoins, but how I felt.

The characters don't belong to me, of course. such a shame.

Well, I hope you enjoy it, at least more than I enjoyed my prom. oh and I did had a date, it just didn't mean anything, cause, well, he's a guy, and I don't really attracted to them as much as girls... I think I might be bi, I'm just not sure. nevermind..

* * *

**Dance Floor**

It was a school dance, my first school dance ever. I was only sixteen, in my fifth year at Hogwarts. Everyone had a date. Well, everyone except me.

It's not like I didn't want to. I did, so badly. But I couldn't find the courage to ask someone out. And besides, even if I had the courage, I hadn't have anyone I could ask, and that is because I am gay.

So, when the ball had finally arrived, I found myself dateless, sitting alone at a round table, watching the other kids on the dance floor.

James danced mostly with the Quidditch team, who seemed to adore him, as the rest of the school. He wasn't such a good dancer, but it didn't seem to bother anyone around him.

Peter danced with Alin, a girl in our year from Ravenclaw. They hadn't been officially dating, though everyone knew they fancied each other.

As for Sirius, he danced with his girlfriend, Shina. Shina was a beautiful blond Gryffindor who'd been in our year. She was everything Sirius had ever wanted; pretty, clever, fun going and all the Marauders loved her. I hated her. It's not really that I hated her, she was actually nice and before she and Sirius had got together I used to have long and interesting conversations with her in the library. What I hated was the idea of her going out with Sirius. To be more specific, I hated the idea of _anyone_ going out with Sirius, anyone but me.

For two years I've loved Sirius Black. I knew it was wrong, I knew I had no chance with him what so ever, he was straight. I knew I was only aiming for disaster. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about him. That way.

So while I was watching the dance floor and thought all that to myself, tears started to form in my eyes. I closed them as hard as I could and tried to focus on anything but the thought about Sirius and about me being dateless and gay.

I started to count down from ten to one.

_Ten_.

_Nine_.

_Eight_.

_Seven_-

"Hey, Moony, what are you doing?"

Sirius, great, just what I needed.

"Counting my breathes."

Sirius looked confused. "Er, why?"

_In order to stop myself from thinking about you._

"I'm bored."

"Oh," Sirius nodded, "Well, come on dancing, then!"

"I'm not really in the mood."

Sirius frowned. "You're never in the mood. Come on, Moony! It's a school dance, you supposed to be dancing!"

"Look, I don't feel like dancing, alright? Just drop it. Where is Shina, anyway?"

"She went to get us something to drink."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh, there she is! Hey, Shina, over here!"

Shina saw us and came towards the table, holding two glasses in her hands. She gave one to Sirius and sat next to him.

"Hey, Remus." she said with a smile.

"Hey…" I muttered.

Sirius frowned again. "You've got to stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Making that tone when Shina's around."

"Oh, I don't mind." Said the blond and smiled her perfect smile at me. Merlin, how I hated that smile.

But Sirius was mad now, "It doesn't matter if you don't mind, he has no right to talk to you like that."

"And you don't have a right to tell me how to talk!" I snapped, can't able to hold myself anymore.

"Why do you hate Shina so much? Does it bother you that I have a girlfriend and you don't? Are you jealous?"

"I'm not jealous!"

_Lie_.

"So what the hell is wrong with you?"

I had to stop myself before I'd say too much. I couldn't tell Sirius the truth, not ever.

"Nothing, nothing is wrong with me. And you're right; I have no right to talk like that. I'm sorry."

"Good." Sirius said with satisfaction, "I'll see you later, then." He got up, offered Shina his hand and both of them got back to the dance floor.

I sighed, frustrated. Looking at all those kids, dancing, laughing, having fun… I wish I could be like them. But I can't. I will never be like them. I'm different. I'm gay, I'm a werewolf, I'm in love with my best friend. What did I do to deserve this?

"Hey, Remus."

Lily Evans sat next to me. I liked Lily, she was nice and she seemed to always care about other people. I knew she had a soft spot for me, even though she didn't know any of my secrets.

"Hey, Lily," I tried to smile, but even I could tell it didn't reach my eyes.

"Is everything alright with you?" she asked in concern. Thank Merlin, I thought, for someone who cared.

"Yeah," I said.

_Lie_.

"Why would something be wrong?"

"Oh, I don't know. It's just that, you're sitting here, all alone. And I thought, you know, maybe you want to… maybe you'd like to dance with me?"

I lifted my eyes to meet hers. She was serious. She really wanted to dance with me.

"I don't really want to dance, but can I… can I tell you something, Lily?"

She nodded and smiled, "Yeah, of course."

I didn't know if I could trust her, but I couldn't hold it inside anymore. I had to tell someone.

"But you have to swear not to tell this to anyone."

"I swear, if you promise me to come with me to the dance floor."

I sighed. "Oh, fine."

Lily grinned. "Go on, then."

"Um, alright, so… I think… I think I might be… _gay_."

I whispered the last word quietly.

"Oh," was all she said. She didn't sound surprised.

"Oh? Is that all you have to say?"

"Well, yeah. What did you expect me to say? Did you think I will yell at you or something?"

"Er, no. I just thought you'd say a little more than 'oh'."

"I don't mind, if that's what you're asking. I don't mind at all. I think you can date whoever you want, and if it happens to be a guy, then so be it."

I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding.

"Thanks, Lily."

Lily smiled. "Sure. So, now you have to fill your promise."

"Alright, alright. I'll come to dance with you. But I can't promise I'll have fun in there."

"You will."

So I went with Lily to the dance floor, and we danced. And then I danced with James, too, and with the rest of the Quidditch team. And I also danced with Peter and Alin. I couldn't see Sirius anywhere, but at that moment, I didn't seem to care.


End file.
